If you know me well enough you know I suck at phone handling. If you thought I have been ignoring you, well here is the truth, I am horrible at phone handling. I mean, I miss calls like it’s a job, I forget to respond to texts especially those on quick chat. Let me clarify, it’s not that I don’t value the texts people send me but it’s a scenario where I often respond to messages in my head but never quite do. I am better with email because half the emails that come through 1. Pay my bills or 2. Tickle my ribs (I just rhymed). I feel like I need to do some further explaining so I am not taken out of context but then again, if you really know me well, I am sure you have understood me and if you love me enough you won’t mind this bad behavior. I am working on it.
I miss the olden days (Not that I really lived in them) when phone calls were purely for important communication. Like when only one person in the neighborhood had a phone and when a call came for you it was a death announcement, a job interview response or a lottery win. You get me?
So anyway, even in my bad phone handling skills, there are phone calls that for some reason I don’t miss and should I miss I will cause a one man stampede trying to return the call. Usually at this time my phone has hang and I am talking it back into functioning or I am slamming it on my palms.
Today it hit me most.
So I am at this meeting. The discussion is heated and I am ignoring my buzzing gadget. Partly because the people who were calling were either debt collecting, following up on a sale or ‘checking up’. (Not purely true) but so when this one phone call came, I literally left my audience mid sentence to attend to this call in a haste.
No, it was not my boyfriend, nor my pastor, nor my mother. It was my watchman or gateman for decency sake.
I kid you not, my heart skipped, my palms became sweaty and there was a ‘teren teren’ sound in my head.
See, there are four people I have noticed whose phone calls get me in this state.
One my gateman. Why? Because the last time a neighbor missed his call, his house was being swiped clean by his ex who told the gateman she and my neighbor were moving and he was too busy at work. Also, the last time I had no power for about 3 weeks my gateman didn’t have my number so couldn’t warn me. (Getting reconnected by the way is harder than brushing a cats teeth) Today by the way he was calling to tell me the power people were at my house and I needed to pay my bill ASAP not to be disconnected. He saved me and my fridge leftovers. Thanks Frank.
The second phone call I never miss is …needless to say.. my boss. Why? Because my boss calls me for two reasons, hell has broken loose or he has a super cool life time opportunity assignment. I work in one of those jobs where things move from perfect to Jesus we need you and your 12 disciples this minute. I think about it like I work for the state (I actually do), he is 999 and I am the fire dept. so any time 999 calls me, there is a fire to put out. He could also be calling to tell me that I need to suit up and go meet the president on his behalf as he is caught up (This has occurred plenty of times in my dreams and I am just terrified it will happen and I am caught off guard)
The third call I don’t miss is any call from my bank. They could be calling to tell me my money has disappeared or perhaps they want to award me for being lucky phone picker with a crazy amount to buy me the Volkswagen I so badly want.
The fourth person is any long lost relative. Half the time, they are calling to tell you the worst news, a parent’s death or very close relative’s death or better yet inviting you for their wedding abroad. Though for some they are calling to invite you for wedding committees as well. But I try not missing them for reason 1.
I wouldn’t also miss my pastors call, he has never called me but should he ever I would have a moment where the world would freeze. I would pick just for the curiosity. Like what on earth could I have done or not done for the pastor to call me?
I try not to miss loved ones phonecalls. I really do. But thing is they know how to signal me for emergencies. E.g my mother will call me 8 times in a row then have my siblings, cousins and childhood friends call me. My sister will call me. Write me a text. Pick up, then follow it up with ?? then do a Swahili version, chukua simu then write.. Sawa tu.. So then see, when I miss your one missed call I am somewhat hopeful its not really an emergency.
As I said earlier. I am working on my phone handling skills. I promise.